My Big Wish List (for myself and humanity): # 3 Our Judicial Systems are Rigged, Folks!

Dear USA,

I am going to pick on YOU today (but know, that you are not the only country with a RIGGED judicial system!)  I mean has anyone been following the US “news” lately...or say, hmmm... EVER?!  Crazy trials going on…kids being killed for buying Skittles and then people shooting guns going free?!  SNOWDEN?!!!!!  Who from Wall Street is in jail right now?  Name me one!  Really?  Do I have to LIST ALL the EVIDENCE THAT OUR JUDICIAL SYSTEM is RIGGED and a new one needs to be CREATED, like NOW?!

As a matter of fact, the ONLY judicial system I CAN SEE from here that actually practices REAL JUSTICE comes from the Haitians…some of you may know it as Voodoo (originally from West Africa—like everything else!—it is known as “Vodou”.)

Allow me to EXPLAIN.  In Voodoo culture, IF you ACCUSE a person of a crime and YOU CANNOT PROVE IT, then the ACCUSER suffers the punishment.  This means someone has to have a pretty fuckin’ good "case" against you, or else the prosecutor will pay.  In Voodoo, they do not have a DEATH PENALTY, instead, they ZOMBIFY you!  Harsh?  Well, remember, IF your ACCUSATIONS are FALSE, then YOU will be zombified!  What this means is that people THINK TWICE about ACCUSING anyONE of anything—if you are wrong, YOU will feel the punishment. 

Here is a horrible poem I wrote in High School, I just found it by “accident” (Right?!  There are NO accidents!) the other day…can you tell what a terror I was in my teens?!!!

The Shocking Death of William Kemmler; Or

Got a Light?

By Kelly N Patterson (1980’s-ish)

(Please hum to “The Brady Bunch” theme song)

Here’s the story of a man named William Kemmler,

Who was busy hacking up his girlfriend with an axe

In a drunken rage, way back in 1888,

How does this story end, you ask?

Here’s the story of the New York Penal system

In its death penalty infancy

Let’s strap him to an electric chair, Edison!

And perhaps it won’t be so inhumane and messy!

So one day (August 6, 1890) when they tried to fry him,

With substantial evidence and not just a hunch,

Things went terribly wrong with the electric chair

And just about all the witnesses lost their lunch.

And that’s the way we perfected the electric chair!

The Electric Chair! The Electric Chair!

And that’s the way we perfected the electric chair!