The answer is always LOVE (or sometimes, "42"!)

The answer is always LOVE (or sometimes, "42"!)
My philosophy is LOVEISM...

Sunday, November 30, 2014

My Walmart “Black Friday” Experience

"Black Friday" at a Walmart

When my uncle asked me if I wanted to join him in going to WALMART on Thanksgiving evening, for a pre-Black Friday “event”, every cell in my body screamed, “Are you fucking KIDDING me?!”  My strong response to this innocent request for company immediately showed me how many “stories” I had about Walmart as a company, “gross consumerism”, the people who shop and work at Walmart, the products sold at Walmart –in other words, all HARSH JUDGMENTS based on, let’s be honest—the media (*even if it is independent media) and very few personal experiences at Walmart (I boycotted Walmart for almost a decade, so I have probably only been there about 5 times in my life.) Therefore, I recognized THIS as a n OPPORTUNITY to really get out of my comfort zone, test my zen skills and PRACTICE all my beliefs about ONENESS.  So I went.

Yes, the Walmart parking lot was FULL at about 5:30 pm Thanksgiving evening, but it was rather quiet under the snowflakes, like any other day.  Much to my surprise, there were no lines or mobs of poorly-dressed obese people, as often portrayed in the media. We sauntered peacefully into the store.  People were casually hovering over large bins of items throughout the store-- everything from crock pots to electronics to toys, etc.  We were instructed that we were not to “touch” any of the merchandise until exactly 6 PM and then it was a “free for all!” Despite all the Walmart “Event” Staff, I could see how this could get insane very quickly. 

Prepared, my uncle Tim had a list of items he wanted to get for himself and his wife. Our “strategy” was to locate the items first; delegate who was getting which items; and then at 6 pm, “grab our items” and get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible (and then go celebrate with a cocktail at a local bar!)  Therefore, I found myself standing among a small crowd, of mostly women, hovering around a Fruit of a Loom Sweatshirts bin (*because my uncle wanted 4 X-L sweatshirts for $4 each).  Meanwhile, my uncle Tim was just around the corner, standing around a bin of other clothes he wanted to buy for his wife.  

“I have never done this before, I mean, how does this work exactly?” I asked the women around me. 

The woman singing to herself (“You Can Ring My Bell”) next to me chirped: “Well, at 6 pm, we just go for what we want and hope we to get it!” 

Me:  “Well, what are YOU going for?” 

Singing woman:  “Oh, I want a medium orange sweatshirt, a black one and a grey one too.”

I then pointed to the woman directly across the bin from me, who happened to be standing above the orange sweatshirts, “And what are YOU going for?”

She chirped, “I want a large black sweatshirt, an orange one and matching sweat pants.” Gradually, person by person, in a circle, people shared exactly what they wanted.

ME, pointing to the woman directly across from me, “Well, how about I get you your large green sweatshirt, since I am standing right in front of them-- and YOU get me an extra-large black sweat shirt, since you are standing in front of them?” She smiled a YES, and everyONE got it immediately. 

Therefore, at the stroke of 6 pm, WE as a group of “Black Friday” shoppers hovering over a Fruit of a Loom sweatshirt bin, agreed to help ONE another get what each ONE of us wanted, not only in a friendly, peaceful way, but it was also extremely time efficient—Tim and I were OUT of WALMART within in 10 Minutes!  We timed it!  Because we accomplished our goals so quickly, we did not even have to wait in line at the cashier—and note:  the cashier happened to be very cute! And having to park at the very end of the parking lot turned out to be a BLESSING, as we were able to make a swift exit and headed straight to a local bar to celebrate!
Cheers!  with my Uncle Tim!

LIVE your Bliss,
Kelly N Patterson (aka, the Goofy Guru)