Wednesday, August 28, 2013
My Big Wish List (for myself and humanity): # 6 Radical Honesty
WARNING: Radical Honesty is HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS—as soon as YOU start being radically honest with yourself and then when interacting with others, well, HONESTY will spread faster than tuberculosis!
“Radical Honesty”, as introduced by Dr. Brad Blanton, is a means of DIRECTLY, CLEARLY, you know…honestly, communicating with ONE another. What a RADICAL concept, right?!
You know…sharing what YOU REALLY THINK/FEEL/WANT/NEED/ LOVE/ FEAR with others?! *And without worrying HOW others will respond?! Isn’t it RIDICULOUS that we crawled out of the ocean (according to some); developed our OWN buffet of flavorful WORDS and LANUGUAGES (even SIGN LANGUAGE and MUSIC!); invented the wheel and “The Clapper”; launched bloody SPACE STATIONS; cloned farm animals; and yet, we cannot SPEAK honestly with ONE another! Ricolaaaaaaa—DICULOUS!
Dr. Blanton was kind enough to study the impact of Radical Honesty on some human guinea pigs (*and while I am here, let’s STOP testing on animals PLEASE!) His studies confirmed (because HE BELIEVED they would!) that people become “more happy”/feel “more FREE” when they are being HONEST about themselves TO THEMSELVES and OTHERS, even the painful and taboo stuff (like Mime Fetishes)! Honesty creates instant and authentic intimacy between/among people; in other words, Honesty DISARMS others. What did we say as kids? “Here, look at my boo boo!” And what did we get in return for SHARING OUR WOUNDS? A kiss on the boo boo, right?!
Radical Honesty is ALL about speaking with INTEGRITY, authenticity, “being REAL”, TRUTH, SHARING, OPENESS, Vulnerability, and connecting through verbal communication (which is EXACTLY why we created words and language in the first place! To be able to CLEARLY COMMUNICATE with others!) And just so you know, Radical Honesty is not always pretty. Radical Honesty is about TRANSPARENCY—there are NO SECRETS with Radical Honesty.
Can you IMAGINE if our WORLD LEADERS, GOVERMENTS, CORPORATIONS, CHURCHES, practiced Radical Honesty, too? Radical Honesty naturally warrants TRANSPARENCY and thus, ACCOUNTABILITY—attributes we are lacking in modern times, no?
Naturally, Radical Honesty starts with YOU practicing BEING HONEST with YOURSELF. I.e., Ask anyONE, I have a TEMPER. I am notorious for spectacular PUBLIC TANTRUMS (just ask any Airport Security!!) However, I see how these Bollywood-esque tantrums benefit and serve me as release of healthy anger, sometimes a shared release with others, and surely, entertainment and education for some. One of my infamous tantrums saved Marcos and I from being BUSTED in Mexico, by the Mexican Army, during our “Operation Smuggle Marcos”! Hell! My tantrums brought AIDS drugs to Africa!
Radical Honesty is about identifying and LOVING ALL aspects of OURSELVES: the “good”, the “bad”, and the “ugly.” From this place of Self-LOVE and Self-AWAREness, we can honestly communicate with others.
In order to practice and LIVE Radical Honesty, there are some “things” you need to LET GO:
Let Go of the need to please others—not your job! YOUR JOB is to PLEASE YOURSELF. If others are not happy, well that is THEIR STORY, not yours!
Let Go of being politically-ERECT—everyONE and their cousin knows when you say “African American”, you mean a “black” person…besides most of the “African Americans” I know could not find bloody Senegal on a map, much less speak an African language. THE MORE YOU LABEL YOURSELF, the MORE you SEPARATE YOURSELF—which perpetuates Duality-thinking (Us vs Them, Man vs Woman, Man vs Nature, Good vs Evil, Pepsi vs Coca Cola, etc.) *And in case you did not get the tweet, we are returning to ONEness!
Let GO of trying to impress others—have you ever stopped to look at just how much time, energy and money you spend TRYING to MAKE YOURSELF look GOOD to OTHERS? You want people to think you are smart/funny/spiritual/happy/generous/loving/profound/worldy/wealthy/whatever—why can’t you just BELIEVE you are LOVABLE JUST AS YOU ARE?!!!
Let Go of OLD STORIES about yourself (and others!)—using Radical Honesty, you can change YOUR story! Tired of being “the victim”—then bloody well TELL people, “Dude, I am NOT playing the victim role any more—didn’t you get my tweet?” Practice saying “No, thank you”, when you really do not want to do something! You know damn well when you do something you do not REALLY want to do to please someONE else, you end up RESENTING IT and that resentment shows up as illness, dis-ease and violence in all its forms (from sarcasm to physical and psychological).
Let GO of your “manners” – Etiquette is merely a conditioning tool, a code of behavior set according to contemporary “conventional norms” (WTF does THAT mean?!) within a society, social class or group. Keep in mind, back in the 50’s, it was “proper etiquette” that black people use separate toilets—WTF?!! Question MANNERS every time they surface; some manners may still be valuable to us. But if etiquette (children: “be seen, not heard”) prevents you from BEING YOU—well, get rid of it! To quote Thomas Edison, “There are no RULES here! We are trying to accomplish something!”
Let Go of Gossip— I think Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” Really, there is nothing LESS HONEST than talking negatively about others, because fuck—you barely KNOW yourself, how can you possibly CLAIM TO KNOW OTHERS?!
Let GO of being “Right”-- Radical Honesty is also about admitting when we are wrong; when we have made a mistake. It is about ACCOUNTABILITY. When we have truth, then we have accountability, and then, finally, we can have RECONCILIATION.
For experiment’s sake, how about we ALL TRY RADICAL HONESTY and see how it feels! Feel FREE to SHARE your radically honest experiences!
LIVE your bliss,
The Goofy G.u.r.u.