Which is YOUR Erotic Archetype?

Recently, Brittany and I attended a 2-hour workshop, “The Different Faces of Eros”, facilitated by psychotherapist and Relationship Coach, Meriana Dinkova, at Gaia Sangha, with 15 other curious participants, seeking to explore the different Erotic Archetypes, and the ways these (sometimes subconscious) strategies can strengthen and/or limit our ability to connect and ultimately, seduce others.  This workshop was part lecture, part “sharing” and part PLAY, with the opportunity to “try out” a few new Erotic Archetypes on fellow participants—FUN!

Different Faces of Eros--Erotic Archetypes Workshop in LA 

The first concept I recognized about myself is that I tend to “choose” the men I want to “court”, as opposed to allowing men to “choose” me.  *Control issues, much?!

Meriana explained that people tend to fall into two categories:  Those who “pick” their mates, and then those who “wait” to be “picked.”  Neither method is better than the other, both have a shadow-side:  Those who prefer to select their potential mate/initiate a connection, may overlook or miss opportunities to connect with others better suited for them; and those who prefer to “wait” to be “selected” may end up with a “Plan B”, aka—“second choice” and therefore, may not be fully satisfied in their relationships.   Ideally, one is open to seducing others and receptive when others’ initiate a connection.

Most of the Erotic Archetypes Meriana introduced to us in this workshop apply to both genders, but a few are gender specific.  I have briefly outlined the Erotic Archetypes Meriana covered in this workshop below, but for more in-depth insight, well, you will have to attend one of her workshops (or do your own homework!)

1.     The Nice Guy:  Surely, everyone knows “The Nice Guy.”  I define the Nice Guy as the dude who asks to kiss you.  Personally, when a man asks to kiss me, well—not sexy.  However, I did MARRY a Nice Guy, so the Nice Guy has great long-term relationship/marriage potential.

2.    The Romantic:  The Romantic is the male or female going for the DEEP connection-- seeking “The One”, using terms like “soul mate”, “twin flame” and tends to seduce by talking about the future TOGETHER.  However, while in pursuit for the perfect partner, The Romantic may miss opportunities to develop deep relationships with others.

3.    The Player:  The Player can be Cassanova-esque (all about sensual/sexual conquests) or Don Juan-esque (seeking authentic intimacy but with multiple partners.)   To quote a friend of mine,  “I fall in love every day.”  And I KNOW he means it!  NOTE:  Don’t hate on the Players because they can make excellent sexual/”play” partners—especially, if you are open to poly-amorous relationships.

4.    The Helper/Provider:  These are the problem-solvers, healers, heroes,  “bread winners”, the Do-ers’s, people with “Savior Syndrome”, etc. who make our lives easier.  If boundaries are not clear and honored, relationships with Helpers/Providers can easily slip into co-dependency.  Helpers/Providers tend to be attracted to the Broken Angel.

5.     The Dom/Rake:  The Dom or Rake (male or female) will grab your ass without even knowing your name.  These are the boldest seducers with little to no respect for others’ personal boundaries—however, the best people to have sex with in an alley or an elevator.  (*For scientific purposes, everyone should try a Dom/Rake, just for the FUN and adventure of it!)

6.    The Spiritual Person: The spiritual person will convince you that you shared a past life together; or that astrologically, you are highly compatible; or, explain how synchronicity/cosmic connections brought you together.   They will try to convince you that your meeting is fate/destiny.  NOTE: They might be RIGHT!

7.    The Broken Angel:  This is the beautifully flawed individual, who seduces you with his or her tragic past.  The Broken Angel’s wounds speak to you, especially if you have experienced some sort of trauma in your life, or if you are a Helper/Provider, you will want to “save” them.

8.    The Innocent:  The Innocent has very little life experience, so everything YOU do or have done is AMAZING, exciting, brilliant to them, and they want you to “show” them the world!  However, this relationship can easily turn into a teacher-student relationship and not an “equal” partnership.

9.    The Corrupter:  The Corrupter is especially attracted to the Innocent, because the Corrupter wants to be your “guide” and show you the world, both light and dark. 

10. The Amazon:  These are the “strong” women—you know them when you meet them.  They can do EVERYTHING themselves and often (subconsciously) project to others that they do not want or need others for anything.  They can come off as intimidating because men (or women, depending on your preference) do not feel they have anything valuable to contribute to the Amazon.  *This archetype spoke to me, and the advice I was given by Meriana (and the men at the workshop) was to allow myself to be vulnerable and show my feminine side more often (so let’s just see what happens!)

11. The Goddess:  The Goddess is all about entitlement:  “I am a Goddess/Queen, so worship me!”  This can lead to a very one-sided relationship, if The Goddess does not return the worship.

12. The Nurturer:  The Nurturer is the sexy Mother.  She takes care of you, feeds you, and will most likely have your kids. 

So, which Erotic Archetypes speak to you?   Do you see a pattern in your seduction techniques, or the “type” of partners you attract? 

Goofy Guru Homework: For experiment’s sake, next time you have the opportunity, try out a few new archetypes, specifically ones that are out of your comfort zone and see what happens!   

LIVE your bliss,

Goofy Guru (aka, Kelly N Patterson)