Recently,
a man, I have never met, wrote a letter to the Chico (CA) Board of Supervisors,
stating and I quote: “Kelly Patterson is a transvestite prostitute with AIDS
from West Virginia, the land of the wild and wonderful WHITES." For
the record, I am from KENTUCKY! A close
friend was brave enough to tell me she was worried she might get HIV from
sharing nasal spray with me. And just today,
someone who is not living with HIV
said to me, “I feel for you having HIV.”All
recent woeful reminders of the fear, ignorance, and stigma still around the
topic of AIDS, in the United States, in 2013—Wow?! Are we
STILL here, world?!!
Since the
topic of HIV/AIDS has been coming up for me a
lot recently, I decided to look at how living with HIV has benefited me for the past 20 years.
In my
experience, there are many BIG gifts to living with HIV:
1.
Since
I was exposed to HIV, at the age of 19,
by the same needles they used to treat me for malaria (while doing volunteer
work in East Africa), and told I only had about 10 years to live, I did not get sucked into the “American
Dream Trap”—you know, mortgages, $10K weddings, materialism, credit card
debt, student loans, car loans, insurance plans, taxes, etc. Instead, I chose to bounce freely around the
globe, pretty much doing whatever I wanted, trying to experience as much from
life as possible—from working in foreign slums to climbing sacred ruins to
participating in Ayahuasca ceremonies to living in an ashram and then some.
2.
I
have no fear of DEATH, which allows
me to saunter into some of the most “dangerous” places on this planet and
assist others less fortunate than I. It also allows me to gleefully cliff dive;
do category 5 rapids; SCUBA dive; ski; couchsurf; travel/move to foreign countries
alone; and other activities that some people label as “dangerous.”
3.
I do not waste time, energy or words being
bitter, angry, boring, critical, or unhappy. If I am
unhappy, I change my perception of the situation, change the situation, or
leave the situation entirely. *I have
learned that if I allow myself to be depressed, self-piteous, or angry too
long, it will ALWAYS show up as an illness in my body.
4.
HIV reminds me to take care of
myself. If I am neglecting myself in ANY way, my body
will stop me in my tracks and remind me, “You need to take care of yourself
right now!”
5.
Gives
me carte blanche to tell people to
stop bitching about their illnesses, aches and pains because I can always pull
out the, "Well, at least you don't have AIDS!" card. *It never fails to make people stop
complaining. ;)
6.
I
have genuine empathy for the sick and
the dying.
7.
I know the men who have loved me over the
years (including two husbands!) REALLY loved me! *Plus, disclosing your HIV status to a potential romantic partner
INSTANTLY weeds out the people who just want to fuck you from the people who
really want to get to know you. Priceless.
8.
The
shock factor alone is priceless! I know
every time I share I am HIV+ with someone, I am educating that person and
perhaps even breaking a stereotype
he/she may have of people living with HIV/AIDS.
9. I confess, more than once I have
used HIV as an excuse to get out of work
or something I did not want to do. HIV
makes saying NO to people, especially people you love, easier.
10. I am
showing the world, through example, that not only can people live FULL, fun,
adventurous, loving, happy lives with HIV/AIDS (anywhere in the world!) but you
can do it for a long time, without taking medications!
Sometimes,
I think I am the lucky one!
Kelly N
Patterson (aka, the Goofy Guru)
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing this! Is there a way to follow your blog so I can read you more regularly? And who would write such a hateful letter about you?
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