So, what exactly does the Goofy Guru do? (May 9, 2013)

Almost every day, someone asks me, “So, what do you do?”

My response (usually said with Jazz Hands mudra):  “Well, I am the Goofy Guru!”

Goofy Guru demonstrating Jazz Hands Mudra 

 *I have to confess, it is mildly entertaining to watch people try to digest this totally unexpected answer while waiting patiently for the next question, which is always along the lines of ,“What does that mean?  What does a Goofy Guru DO?”

My response: “Well, I am kind of like a wholistic guide or therapist.  Like a General Practitioner in the medical field, I am a General Practitioner in the whole mind-body-spirit field.  People come to me when they are fed up with their lives and they WANT change (aka, “personal transformation”)-- basically when people want a NEW life and they want it NOW!  And I, in return, “assess the overall situation” (listen to their “stories”, aches and pain resume), and then direct them to professional holistic practitioners, healers, energy workers, yogi’s, Burning Man, Ayahuasca ceremonies, cliff diving, whatever-- as well as introduce them to daily translation tools I believe they can relate to, in order for them to transform themselves. “

“But what does that look like?”

Me:  “Well, it is a unique experience for each client.  Each “Action and Non-Action plan” we create TOGETHER is based on the new life they wish to create for themselves, so a lot of this “work” is actually PLAY based on their passions and interests.  For example, I am not going to dump Eastern and contemplative traditions (such as Transcendental Meditation), or systems theory, ecopsychology, ecofeminism, web-of-life theory, neopaganism, astrology, Goddess/Gaia worship, African Shamanism, Native American spirituality, etc. on a person who currently thinks of him or herself as “Christian”—it is too much, not to mention ineffective.  Instead, I start with using as many Christian (or as I call “Christ Consciousness”) references I can find which are in direct alignment with self-actualization (and trust me, there are MANY!)  In the end, the person decides/remembers who they are and how they want to live from NOW “on”.”

Disclaimer:  Anyone who claims they can “transform” you is full of shit.  The only person who can “transform” you is YOU.  You are the writer, casting agent, director, editor, marketing department, and the critic!   *My role is to simply introduce you to as many translation tools (vocabulary/concepts/symbols/rituals/healing modalities/life experiences YOU can relate to) and holistic professionals/organizations/philosophies as you want/need, in order for YOU to find what works best for you.  And then when YOU are ready, you will “wake up” naturally and start creating/visualizing, making decisions, taking ACTIONs that will inevitably change your life as you know it!

For example, with my current client, “Bee”, after “talking” for a few days--all while eating at boutique Atlanta restaurants, sharing the GREEN MEDICINE (aka, “cannabis awesomeness”), over a pomegranate margarita, after some massage therapy, while taking her dogs to the Dog Park at Piedmont, while driving from Atlanta to Alabama, etc., once we got to her “country” home in Alabama, the first thing I did was take Bee FOOD MEDICINE shopping.  Bee does not enjoy cooking and therefore, does not always eat consciously.  However, lucky for me, she does have a “foodie” gene and fully appreciates organic, healthy food options—she just does not know how to prepare them for herself.  So this is on our ACTION PLAN:  Introduce Bee to a whole new yummy menu of FOOD MEDICINE options/meals that are easy and economical to make. 

Just a few of my favorite FOOD MEDICINE TOOLS, plus a whole fridge and pantry of yummy, mostly organic eats

Our second ACTION PLAN ITEM was to go to the library and pick out inspirational and educational books, CDs, and DVDS I believe Bee can best relate to (right now.)  Unlike many of my friends in Northern California, Bee, raised in the “Bible Belt South” has never been introduced to Law of Attraction, chakras, Aryuveda, Kundalini yoga, Tai Chi/Qi Gong, Reiki, energy work of any kind, and hundreds of the other holistic healing modalities.  So I predict it is going to be a lot of fun finding out which healing modalities work best for Bee, and she is surprisingly open to this exploration and experimentation.

The librarian, "You realize you checked out 42 items, right?"  

Personally, I cannot wait to experience "Sweating in the Spirit"--basically, it is exercise to gospel music and sermon bits--THIS should be interesting!!!! 

Currently, Bee identifies herself with being “Christian”, however, she is aware enough to know that (1) she has “Awakened” (her own words), and (2) despite being a nurse all her life, and living over 20 years with HIV, HEP C and a whole assortment of “lesser” but usually more “annoying” illnesses/side effects like skin problems, allergies, asthma, etc. she has come to her own conclusion that our medical system is doing more harm than good and wants to be healthy without all the drugs, doctor visits, tests, outrageous bills, and “you know, general medical bullshit”  (her words.) 

*Not to mention the continued STIGMA of having AIDS—for the record, Bee was the 7^th medical professional in US history to be exposed to HIV through an accidental needle-prick at work.  NOTE: This was back in 1985, when AIDS was a “gay/heroin junkie/prostitute/African Disease”—so the fact she survived almost 3 decades of all that GLOBAL IGNORANCE, HATRED, INTOLERANCE, FEAR, SHAME, ISOLATION, DISCRIMINTATION, SELF-LOATHING and OSTRACIZATION from her family, well, it says a lot about Bee’s strength!  She is actually a real HERO—but she doesn’t recognize that yet! ;)

So, together, Bee and I are taking on her health and whole mind-body-spirit well-being.  And like everything else in this life, this is all a grand experiment and we are both in agreement, we plan to have a DAMN GOOD TIME while doing it! 

Live your bliss,

Goofy Guru